I am not a nice person. I do not think you will find anyone who describes me as a nice person. Being nice is not a goal of mine. I also don’t make an effort to NOT be nice. I DO make an effort to be thoughtful and grateful and friendly and discerning. Nice, is one of those generic all encompassing terms that people seem to use when other words are too defining to place on someone they barely know. I also find the word to be confining and reeking of faux behavior. Rarely will you find a nice person and an authentic person occupying the same body.
Nice people or those “being nice” seem to desire to please even at the risk of being disingenuous. I find it more comfortable being truthful and honest. People who are “brutally” honest may use this philosophy to project their own fears. Anytime you intend to be brutal says more about you than the information you are trying to convey. Learn to communicate with compassion without deception.
I am generalizing of course, but Humans seem to fear truth. Humans have been trained to fear receiving the truth and fear giving the truth. There is a special effort made to cover-up the most basic truths. My love is too serious to intentionally lie to you. I care about your long-term well being. I want to help you move toward your greatest self. I am not interested in momentary comfort of your ego or mine.
|Atlanta Zoo 2010|
Some people hang on to untruths because they are more contented to live in the known than venture out into the unknown. There is no way you can become your greatest self without questioning information that no longer serves you. In other words, if it doesn’t make sense to you, QUESTION it. Faith is an illusion that confines you to ignorance.
There are evidence supported truths and there is a version of my truth that is called my opinion. I use them both to help people become more authentic. Why would the truth or my opinion “hurt” your feelings? No one has that type of power over you. If your feelings were hurt, you chose that feeling. It is hard to accept that concept because it appears your feelings arise organically within you. Your life experiences create your perception and the way you perceive the truth dictate how you feel.
You can experiment with the truth. Tell five people the truth. You will get five different reactions. If you had control of people's feelings, why wouldn’t you create in each of those five persons the same feeling that elicit the same reaction? A few of these people may even deem you nice, the others not so nice. Go figure.
Aware people do not expect me to be “nice”; they expect me to be authentic. Of course I know my characterization of nice is not global. I accept and recognize that my truth is created by my experiences. I make an effort to be aware of that at all times. Because of this awareness, the truth and YOUR truth do not offend me. I may ask you to elaborate, but I am going to choose my feelings carefully.
Have a nice day ;-)