Oh, “The
Holidays”! What a glorious, joyful season! à Spending time with your loved ones or
at least people you pretend to like. What could go wrong besides your aunt and
uncle announcing, during the big game, that they are divorcing? ßDo NOT do this! Please wait until all
food and football have been consumed. Back to the topic at hand that I have not
yet presented. As I was asking, what could go wrong? WELLLLLL, you could kill
someone with your cooking. It could taste perfectly awesome but because you did
not follow simple rules whilst preparing your dish, you could cause someone
excruciating pain and misery…. or death. From workplace potlucks to elaborate
recipes taken from Irma S. Rombauer’s ‘Joy of
Cooking’, some minimum requirements need to be in place before and whilst you
prepare meals. Here they are:
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| photo from noholidaynolife.com |
1. Clean
your kitchen from top to bottom. Clean cabinets, floors, baseboards, sinks and
refrigerator. Ok, I may have gone too far with the baseboards, that is a
reminder for me to clean mine. And, YES, your refrigerator--- especially if you
are storing food there.
2.
Wash
your hands often. If you leave the kitchen for ANY reason, when you return,
wash your hands including your fingernails. I don't care if you have to do this 27 times.
3.
Do
you have pets? If so, they can NOT be in the kitchen with you whilst you
prepare meals for other people. Unless they are caged (for the record I do not
condone caging animals) they should not be in the kitchen with you. I find that
animal owners (I also do not condone owning living things of any kind, so I prefer the
term human or animal companion) take this advice especially hard. Apparently,
they are offended when no one wants to eat their casserole with the knowledge
that they allow their cat to walk on their counter as they prepare a meal. Your
pet has fur, feathers, and/or drools. We understand that s/he is a part of your
family, but we do not want them as a part of our meal (unless your pet is a
chicken and its cooked wing is a part of the meal).
4.
I
love to see children helping mom and dad in the kitchen. It is a bonding time
and a time to teach basic life skills, HOWEVER when preparing food for others
this is not the place for a teachable moment. Children tend to lack any caution or
any observance to health and safety guidelines. Many of them have not met a
booger that they did not like and this makes me nervous about them preparing my meal.
This is what I have seen children do: Scratch any and all body parts before
eating their food; Wipe their nose on their sleeves; Sneeze/cough without
covering their nose or mouth; Pet the dog and then offer someone a cookie; and Pick at their blistery hangnails. I will be honest I have seen many adults behave in the above manner but they do have
some guidelines about when they do those things. Right? Right? I am not saying
keep your kid out of the kitchen, but just let her/him observe. Thanks.
5.
DO
NOT DOUBLE DIP. You can do it to your food but not to food that you are serving
others. Do not taste the food and place that same spoon/fork/ladle back into
the pot. NO. NO. NO! Change utensils or wash after each use. It is always a
good idea to have a standing sink of hot soapy water so you can clean spills
and wash dishes as you go any way. This should serve as a reminder! Also, do NOT
taste food while standing over said food. Talk about backwash! Food from your
mouth or saliva can drop in the food. TASTE AWAY FROM THE POT!
I do not
claim to be the tidiest person in the world. Just recently the inside of my
home resembled a crime scene, but know that if I have prepared a meal for you, I
have followed the above rules. Once your food makes someone sick, you will
NEVER live that down. Feel free to add your own rules. Happy Cooking!
